Akatsuki Flowers
by 9CatLives
Summary: AU Gakuen, the Akatsuki are in medical school! Sakura-sensei is tired of her student's(the Akatsuki) nicknames so she decides to give them a little payback. Swearing, crack, ONESHOT, Enjoy


**The setting is Konoha Medical University. All the Akatsuki are enrolled, along with the entire Naruto cast. Sakura is a teacher at the school even though she is only 18, since she was taught by the principle, Tsunade. All the Akatsuki are called to her room because she's had enough of their annoying name calling and decided to give them their own flower nicknames, all but Konan since she is a fellow girl with an odd hair color and respects Sakura. The Akatsuki are 19 and Pein, Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Konan are 20. The deal with Tobi is that he has DID, a partial reason why he's here, which is basically Multiple personalities disorder. It is Spring so it's the beginning of the year. All the flower names and meanings are TRUE, I looked them up and even wrote a big 'ole list. If you want to know a certain meaning PM me. This is a one shot, but I'll definately use the same setting in another story. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

"Blossom,"

"Cherry,"

"Blossom-chan,"

"Cherry-chan,"

"Blossom-sensei,"

"Cherry-sensei,"

"Pinkie,"

"Pinkie-sensei,"

"Pink-sensei,"

"Cherry blossom-sensei,"

A _pink_ haired medic went on, pacing back and forth in the front of her classroom.

Her left middle finger and thumb rubbed her temples, the rest of her hand overshadowing her minty, jade eyes, and her right hand + arm was holding onto her other side while she paced.

To her right, 10 students of her's stood, lined up. They called themselves the Akatsuki.

She stopped. They gulped.

She turned her head toward them, dropping her hands to her sides, revealing dangerously thin eyes, threatening them with such malice, even the most conniving, sadistic bastard in the school, Madara, whimpered.

"These are the **pet**," she emphasized 'pet', clenching her teeth and balling her fists, making them break out in a cold sweat, "names you've given to me. They are distracting, to me and the rest of the students, stupid, childish," she said this while glaring at the calmer, passive, and more reasonable and responsible ones, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Sasori, Itachi, and Pein, "and are **annoying** as **hell**."

Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan would have chuckled in triumph if it weren't for the scariest monster _ever_, which is saying something when it comes to Hidan, standing in front of them and practically _pumping _murder intent from her pores and directing it at them.

"To give you a taste of your own and medicine (pun not intended, unfortunately) you can feel what it's like to be called a flower all your life!"

They looked flabbergasted, or, what I like to call the 'what-the-fuck' face!

Sakura grinned devilishly, chuckling darkly.

They shook with fear of what that girl personally delivered from Hell by Satan was thinking of doing to them.

"I'm going to nickname all of you with flowers and tell everyone what they mean."

"Huh?" they all grunted in unison.

"That's it?" Kisame and Hidan asked.

"That's not so bad." The quieter ones in the group said.

The pink haired 18 year-old chuckled.

They underestimate her.

The gang looked in alarm and fear at the Hell girl chuckling like a madman.

She walked over to her desk and turned on an intercom microphone that she oddly had.

"Alright then! I was planning on Hidan being at the end, but I'm pretty sure he'll have the most fierce reaction." She smirked.

"Like hell! What can a pansy-ass flower do to a fucking bad ass like myself?" he cockily replied at the monster, really scared shitless.

Sakura seriously looked like the devil with a smirk that went cheek to cheek, emphasizing her canines. Not to mention the sadistic glint in her usually light minty eyes, now a deep spearmint (pun intended!).

Hidan swallowed a lump of fear, though he was still in a cold sweat.

Even though Sakura–_sensei _was younger than them, she was personally taught by the principle of Konoha Medical University, Lady Tsunade, since she was 6. Of course she inherited a few other uh… qualities that puts the fear of God in you every second of the lecture.

Putting on a failing fake determined face, he nodded a go ahead.

Still smirking, the evil pinkette began her game.

"Hidan, your nickname is Star of Bethlehem meaning hope. I'll call you Hope for short  
~!" she said.

The albino was frozen for a second before he burst out crying and ran for a dark corner. "WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH! EVIL FUCKING CHRISTIANS (I'm a Christian too you dick! That and the remaining of Hidan's lines are just for the fanfic. They are not what I think!)! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE TOO FUCKING NICE! WHERE'S THE FUCKING MURDER!? WHERE'S THE BLOOD!? THE VIOLENCE!? WHAT THE FUCKS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? NO! NO! GET AWAY! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" he screamed.

The Akatsuki looked mortified. So _this_ is what she was talking about.

The medic was slightly surprised about his reaction, before she was smiling creepily and writing in a black notebook with suspicious looking red spots.

"Pein." She said.

"Y-yes?"

"Yours is Amaryllis. It means dramatic. I'll just call you Mary!"

He walked over to the opposite dark corner of Hidan's.

He sat down with his knees to his chest. He made invisible circles on the floor with his finger, muttering 'I'm not dramatic. Maybe I like standing on top of high places and making long speeches and speaking like everything I say should be written in a bible, but I'm not dramatic.' What a mouthful.

She continued to write stuff down.

"Kakuzu."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Red Chrysanthemum."

"Sharing."

"Christy."

He fainted.

"Zetsu."

"Yes? **Yes**?"

"Gladiolus."

"Which one?"

"Damn you know your plants." The sadist said and shrugged.

They continued to bicker with each other for a _long_ time.

Sakura simply whispered 'Gladys' and continued.

"Kisame."

"H-h-hai?"

"Daisy."

"Innocence."

He fainted, as well, when he heard he'd be called daisy.

"Itachi."

"Hn."

"Yellow Carnation."

"Cheerful."

"Carry."

His face twitched. Repeatedly.

"Madara."

"Yeah?"

"Snapdragan."

He grinned, thinking he would be called dragon. Unfortunately, he got his hopes up and the devil smashed them right down to earth with a jack hammer.

"Presumptuous."

"Snappy for short."

He crouched to the floor, and began silently crying to himself, muttering stuff like 'I'm not presumptuous, I'm not...right?'

"Sasori."

"Rose."

"Love."

"Rose."

He was speechless. His entire being was the opposite of love. His face twitched as he began going into deeper thoughts about love, deeper and deeper…until he screamed and fell to the floor, crying and shaking his head.

"Deidara~!" she purred.

He shivered, knowing that in the very near future he would be crying.

"Queen Anne's Lace. It means Delicate Femininity. I think I'll call you Queen Lace!"

He gawked for a second, then screamed, then cried and yelled "It's not my fault I like long hair and have soft skin, or deep sky blue eyes that mesmerize people! It's just how I was born!"

"Leave my classroom and face justice!" Sakura shouted at them.

Kisame had pulled it together and dragged Kakuzu and Hidan out, while Itachi stopped Zetsu from stabbing himself and told Pein something **really **bad because it got him up right away. Madara, still crying, dragged Sasori and Deidara, on the floor, outside.

Once they were all outside, a _huge_ wave of laughter swept through the hall. Sakura smirked.

They must of forgotten the intercom was on so the whole school could hear. Sakura was not going to be the only one using those nicknames. She snickered and reviewed what she had written in her notebook, comfortably slouching on her brown leather chair and resting her feet on her desk.

This year was going to be fun.

**I hoped you liked it. As I said up top this is a oneshot, but I'll use the same situation in later stories. If you have any questions just PM me. Just because this is a oneshot, don't be afraid to review. It'll help motivate me for the next story with this setting. Thanks for reading**

_9_Cat**Lives**


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